How do I say it?

Ok I need some help here & quick.

My DD walks to school with a neighbour/friend & her daughter who is 6 months younger than my DD. Mum is a nice woman but IMHO (& DH's) can be a bit self-opinionated & full of her own life. We think that this is because

a) she's single & doesn't have any other adults in the house to disagree with her or shoot her down if she's way off mark

b) because she doesn't work so doesn't have anything else to talk about.

It sounds as if I'm being horrible - I'm not, I'm just trying to set the scene.

Anyway when DD moved schools in January we arranged to split the journey - she would take both girls in the morning (20 minute walk) & I'd do the afternoon collection - either walking or in the car. If the weather is foul I do both.

We also help each other out. For example I had to work two VERY long days last week due to an exhibition & was picked up from home @ 7.15 a.m. (I normally get up at 7.30 a.m. so I was half asleep). My DH took DD to Mum @ about 8.15 so he could get off to work & brought them both home again Equally I help her out if she's tied up with the voluntary stuff she does, is sick etc & her daughter comes here for her dinner after school until Mum gets home.

BUT ever since DD has been walking with them she's been complaining that Mum is always blaming us for making them late. Normally I get DD to her house for 8.25 & she's not ready so DD goes into the house until they are. Then they all have to hot foot it to school for 8.50 a.m. Last Friday was a perfect example - they weren't ready as they didn't have their shoes on so DD went into the house - ready to walk to school but waiting for them. When I saw Mum later she mentioned that we'd made them late for school! I bit my tongue thinking to myself - You weren't ready yourself.

My DD had a heavy cold last week, so bad that she had to have Thursday off school (DH had her as I was away @ the exhibition) & only swam once. Today Mum was blaming DD for giving her daughter a cold & said

"The house stank of bl**dy Olbas oil all weekend"

Now I think she's being way off the mark - IMHO bitching at a child, particulary my child. I don't want to fall out with her but she's p*ssed me off & DD has asked if I can take & collect her from school for the rest of the week. Poor DD couldn't help giving her daughter a cold! She was also upset repeating what had been said to her as she's not allowed to swear - bless her.

I tried calling Mum before DD had training tonight but it was CONSTANTLY engaged. Same tonight so I rang her on her mobile. She was on the landline to her sister & could I call back in 10 minutes. I did & it was still engaged.

If we stop this arrangement & each take/collect our own children she'll have more to lose than me as she doesn't have anybody else close by to help. Also my DH will have a nightmare getting her to & from school 4 times a year (2 exhibitions, Crufts & the Knitting & Stitching show).

I need to let her know that her comments are upseting my child & are simply untrue (they're petty comments but upseting my DD). Any tips?