Thursday, May 26, 2005

Bullying - the healing continues

My DD is 9 1/2 yrs old & I moved her to a new school in January this year. She had been bullied in her old school for 2 1/2yrs. I don't think I'll ever know the full extent of it, but what she did tell me (or bruises & grazes that I found), meant that I saw the headmaster frequently - sometimes I was in there 3 times a week. There were only 6 girls in the class including my DD (11 had left in the last 3 yrs) & of those 4 bullied her - (called here girls 1,2, 3 & 4 for ease). Plus another boy used to kick & punch her regulary. I tackled his mother & she didn't want to know at all. Her come back was that they all did it!

The main girl (girl 1) is tiny & angelic with blue eyes & blond curls. Eyes that turned on the water works if DD stood up for herself & then she got in trouble for making this girl cry!!!

It was only after we moved her that I found out the worst. They had threatened to hurt her if she told me what was going on! Moving her came about when I realised that she was dumbing down her homework to 'fit in' & be useless at maths, which is her best subject.

She is now a totally different child at home. The trantrums which I'd put down to puberty have nearly gone, she's a lot calmer, sleeps better & is a LOT happier.

Today the healing continues as I bumped into one of the girls & her mother today in the supermarket. Girl 3 is a follower so joined in with the worst girls rather than trying to stand up to them like my DD. DD & girl 3 had previously been best friends & she had even come away with us for a weekend in the caravan a couple of years ago. After DD left the school girls 1 & 2 turned on girl 3 & made her life hell. The only girl in the class who wasn't involved plays football every lunch & breaktime. DD had tried to join in but the boys wouldn't let her as she isn't as good as the footballer girl. Girl 3 has ended up insisting that she WILL play & can now play well. She has managed to get out of 'the loop' of the bullying so the girl 4 is now on the receiving end instead of DD or girl 3. Girl 4's mother is now constantly at the school like I was - I've advised her to move her daughter but she hasn't done so far.

After I had done my shopping I went back to the car when DD & DH were waiting (I'd gone in my own as it's quicker & easier) & DD came back in with me. She was really nervous about seeing girl 3 but felt sorry for her when I told her what had happened to her.

To cut a long story a tiny bit shorter, girl 3 apologised for being mean to DD & DD is going to call her when we get back from our holiday. I'm really pleased as I feel that she will now be able to move on a bit & recover even more from what they did to her. Girl 3 has matured a lot as has DD as a result of what has happened to them. Girl 3's mum told me that the school still weren't doing much to stop it so I'm really pleased that I moved my DD to a new school.

But girls 1 & 2 live very close to us & often play out on a Saturday afternoon. DD says that she's too tired to play out after two hours training on Saturday mornings but I know that she's avoiding them. I'm hoping that if she continues to heal & improve that she'll be able to stand up to them in the future & have the confidence to put them in their place if necessary.

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